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Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Lord Gave...

I have been listening to, and reading, reports about the Chapman's and the death of Maria Sue. Her memorial service was today. Father, shelter the family and ease their pain.

I also have been thinking about my brother. He would have been 49 this year, but he was killed in a motorcycle crash when he was 17. As a 7 year old kid, I did not understand death was forever. Heck, I didn't even know Jesus. I thought a church was where the Godfather lived. I had a younger brother/older brother fight with him that day and said something when I was told he had died that I regret to this very day, 32 years later. I said, "Good, I'm glad."

My sister, 19 months older than Michael, tells me that I never cried or showed any emotion during the memorial service, or any time immediately after his death. I can remember my mom waking me up in the middle of the night and I can remember that hateful thing I said, but I have no memory of what happened after.

Every so often, the memory of that night comes crashing down and I dissolve in grief and loss. The older I get, the more I miss my big brother. I fear that I will never put behind me the memory of what I said and felt at that time, but I pray that the pain of that memory will pass from me, through the grace of our Lord.

As Michael did not know God when he died, I fear I will not see him on the other side. However, I will always treasure what I remember of him, the good and the bad. I miss you, brother.

Maria Sue, you are with God now, and your family is going through the grieving process. A wise person once said that no parent should have to bury their child. God has a plan and only He knows the ending of things.

"...the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:21 (KJV)

Michael French (1959-1976)

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